Polite Tenenbaum brief pleads to judge: 'Please' don't dismiss my claims; flirting with opposing counsel?

Following last Friday's "rough" motion hearing, Joel Tenenbaum's team today filed a "Memorandum Relating to Various Issues Raised at Oral Argument of Motions on June 5, 2009," seeking to head off a dismissal of their claims for abuse of process, as well as their fair use defense. Tenenbaum does all but get down on his hands and knees as he begs Judge Nancy Gertner to rule in his favor:

Please, do not declare that the federal judiciary has no power to stop the RIAA's abuse. The federal court and its presiding judge need not be helpless to resist.

I don't even know whether Judge Gertner will even read this brief. I know of no provision in the rules for such a post-hearing memorandum, and in my experience, judges don't want additional briefing unless they specifically ask for it.

Team Tenenbaum is in a particularly civil mood these days. They say "please" to the judge -- and they even flirt with opposing counsel through their web site:

“Daniel Cloherty is like Matthew McConaughey of the legal world,” Joel whispers. Cloherty is one of the plaintiff lawyers. It’s such a shame that someone so good-looking has to be on the other side.

I wasn't in Boston for the hearing, but I can only assume Cloherty was wearing more clothes than his stunt double...

(h/t Recording Industry vs. The People)